I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
