Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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