jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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