Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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