New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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