Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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