are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
