Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize