that's an acceptable place to lick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
