For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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