8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
