The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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