Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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