it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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