i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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