Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
