a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
