Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
