Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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