my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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