The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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