then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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