i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
