Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a beautiful day for a hangover

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"

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(772): View more from Florida

I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.

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(415): View more from California

Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire

(213): View more from California

A hand job? Are you 12?

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