im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
