Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
