everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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