At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
