Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
