I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just had sex bonerless
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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