she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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