Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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