So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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