That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
