You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
