she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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