My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
