tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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