there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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