If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
