I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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