i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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