If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
