but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
