Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
