I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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