You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize