chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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