was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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