Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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