So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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