if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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