I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
