I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
