Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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