You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
