I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
