im holly from the hills drunk
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
