i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
operation have a gay friend backfired
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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