I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
