omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
