The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
