Just cropdusted the office
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
