Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
